A TV Show Triggered Me to Heal Part II:The Power of Sibling Ties…and How They Can Destroy Us If We Let It

The anniversary of my mother’s death is today, September 27th, and the seasonal depression I fight every single year around this time looms…

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention my birthday too? It’s hard to believe I’ll be 33 on October 2nd!

Now, there have been changes to our family over the years, but I’ve recently felt a shift with my brother. Not because of any particular reason; we’re just living the truth of our individual lives:

He’s a widower and a father to his baby girl, Anais. A night shift worker who still finds a way to pick up and drop off his daughter every day. A reserved, kind soul who I have ALWAYS wished nothing but the best for…

I’m a wife to my high school sweetheart. I work on my own terms, building towards an entrepreneurial lifestyle I pray to have soon. I’m a little bit of a free spirit, realizing I’m still healing the little girl in me. No children calling me mommy—yet.

For most of my life, I witnessed and assimilated correlations between a woman’s worth to her ability to mother and her career prestige. My mother was exceptional and dedicated to both.

I was a really sensitive child, and I have always been. As her daughter, however, mom always expected more from me. As far as my brother, both parents pretty much sheltered him.

Throughout our lives, both parents underestimated us…

But in my eyes, my brother was always the stronger, more sensible sibling.

I bet you’re wondering when I’ll get to the point. Bear with me…

I've recently began the the series “How to Die Alone” with Natasha Rothwell as Mel. This particular episode involved her brother Brian, and you will see the true love-hate relationship you pray siblings will eventually process and heal.

A true testament displaying a lifetime of their mother placing them at odds that many of us can relate to…

In Episode 5, Mel and her friends decide to create a dating profile for her, and WHO does Mel stumble across?!

Her brother’s dating profile—her MARRIED with KIDS brother’s profile! So, she decided that for ONCE she had the upper hand!

Now, Mel joined her family for a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by Brian and his wife. And honey?! Brian is their mother’s FAVORITE, and Mama shows it, ok?! In her eyes, her baby boy would NEVER forsake her high standards!

Mel continued to chat with him through TIA, her disguised avatar for a while…. She ultimately confronts him after setting up a fake date DURING the familial festivities…

As you can imagine, there’s a plethora of blame and denial shown by both siblings.

Mel stated that their mother never placed Brian on a pedestal but made sure Mel was low enough that he had SOMEONE to look down on…

Powerful and insightful, right?!

Brian continued to say that he felt NO empathy towards Mel and the situations she put herself in. Now, I will say watch this show because he’s not entirely wrong.

As a woman, you will empathize with her because I DO see myself in Mel, as I’m SURE many women can as well.

She chose a path that looked different to most. But it’s HER life to choose. No, she doesn’t have a husband or children, but that doesn’t make her ANY less worthy!

It’s giving, “Not all who wander are lost.”

At one point she shouts, “You love my lows, Brian…that’s the only shit you show up for never my highs. You don’t even know me…”

She further explained the positive changes she had made already: rising in the ranks at her job, becoming friends with two new ladies, becoming a morning person, walking her newly discovered dog…

Those ARE accomplishments that I’m sure the little girl in her cheered vigorously for. It’s finding ourselves through the trauma, through the downfalls, through the depression and anxiety that truly matters.

She and Brian RELEASED what had been holding their sibling-ship from progressing. You felt the tension, that deterrent that afflicted their ability to feel joy from one another LIFT!

That’s the TESTAMENT!

It’s where I find myself MANY times.

I don’t have the career or experience in motherhood everyone hoped I’d have, and I question my ability to confidently show up for my dreams. Those are my lows…

But, I AND the spirit of my mother are here to tell you to step into the reality God has prepared for your destiny. This is YOUR life, your fight, your chance to build the legacy that is YOU!

Do you need to start over?! DO IT! This can be the new beginning! Relearn, heal, stretch, and LET GO of everything that is stopping you!

I can say that I briefy saw my brother and niece the other day, and it was so refreshing speaking to them both!

Guess what? Contrary to belief, communication still is key.

I speak to not only my mother but all my angels in Heaven. Don’t forget to call your angels too!

Peace, Love, and Remembrance,

-Mariah’s Got Nerve